As we have seen, weddings have tremendous gospel potential.  I am growing increasingly aware of the incredible opportunity believers have to proclaim God’s glory to a lost and dying world, and to do so by upholding an institution that has fallen out of favor.  Doing this is not difficult.  The wedding ceremony can be a key tool if we employ it properly.  In addition to seeing the truth behind the symbols, being convicted by the vows, seeing (and hearing) the gospel, people who attend a wedding ought to take their role as witnesses seriously.

The Role of Witnesses

Witnesses Must Be Sober-Minded

Witnesses serve to hold the bride and groom accountable for their vows. The Bible is replete with references to the importance of facts being established by the testimony of witnesses.  (See Deut 17:6; 19:15; Heb 10:28; Matt 18:16; 2 Cor 13:1; 1 Tim 5:19; Heb 10:28)  Those who witness a wedding are actually an important part of the ceremony.  Thus, witnesses must take their role seriously.  Unfortunately, most people view weddings as an opportunity to party.  We go to see what the latest wedding gown fashion trends are, or how much the couple spent on the cake.  However, we are part of a sacred event, and we should be prayerful and sober-minded.

Witnesses Must Do Their Homework

One of those ‘traditional’ elements frequently omitted from modern weddings is the presiding minister’s pause for objections.  Rarely do modern wedding witnesses hear, “If there is anyone hear who can show just cause why they may not be lawfully joined together, let them speak now or forever hold their piece.”  Have you ever wondered why such a question would ever be deemed appropriate? 

This question is crucial.  There are many reasons why people should avoid marriage.  They could be “unequally yoked,” too closely related, still married to another spouse, or mentally impaired (to name a few).  While these issues should be vetted in pre-marital counseling, there is still the possibility that some of these issues could get past a presiding minister.  This is especially true in today’s churchless marriages.  By churchless, I mean there is a tendency for couples to get married outside their own church, do their counseling with a “professional” counselor as opposed to a pastor, or to have a complete stranger preside over the ceremony.  In the past, it was much more common to have one’s pastor do the counseling and preside over the ceremony.

I have seen this personally.  I had a couple ask me to preside over their wedding ceremony.  After asking some preliminary questions, I discovered that this was the man’s second marriage, and the woman’s third!  Moreover, the spiritual state of their relationship was abysmal.  I informed them that I could not do their wedding, nor did I believe that they had biblical grounds to marry.  No worries, they just walked down the hall to another pastor on staff who gladly performed their wedding.

Witnesses Must Follow Up

How many times have witnesses to a wedding stepped in to hold the couple accountable for their vows?  Better yet, when was the last time a witness at a wedding even thought about such a responsibility?  If we took our role as witnesses seriously we would realize that we are participants, not just observers.  If someone whose vows we witnessed decide to renege on those vows, there should be a cloud of witnesses ready and willing to remind them of their vows.  Think about how powerful it could be if two or three witnesses stepped in during a crisis and said, “We know times are hard, but we were there when you vowed before God to hang in there for better or worse.” 

I believe marriage is in trouble.  We are watching families crumble before our eyes.  I don’t believe wedding ceremonies are the only answer.  However, I do believe that it will be of great benefit  to all if we create an environment where people who attend weddings see the truth behind the symbols, are convicted by the vows, see and hear the gospel, and take their role as witnesses seriously. 

VB