Step Two: Build Consensus

 

Hopefully, the first step got your attention, so now I can take my tongue out of my cheek.  My good friend and mentor, Alvin Reid always says, “If you’re a step ahead, you’re a leader; if you’re ten steps ahead, you’re a martyr.”  If this is true anywhere, it is true when we attempt to lead a group of Christians to change paradigms.  In order to move a church anywhere, we must build consensus.

 

Look for Like-minded Allies

 

I believe with all my heart that the Family Integrated Church is a movement.  God is at work in the lives of men and women around this country restoring “the hearts of the fathers to their children and the hearts of the children to their fathers (Malachi 4:6).“   As a result, there are people in virtually every church across this land who know that something is amiss.  Their consciences have been pricked.  They look at what we’ve been doing and although they can’t put their finger on the problem, or tell you the solution, they know something is wrong and it needs to be fixed.

 

If you truly want to be a part of the change that is to come, you must seek out these people.  First, look to the homeschoolers around you.  I don’t say this because homeschooling families are superior; I say this because these families have already done educationally what you’re thinking about doing ecclesiologically.  These are natural allies.  Second, look for families in crisis.  Parents whose teens are teetering on the brink of disaster are open to suggestions.  Talk to these people about the biblical model of family discipleship.  You don’t have to tell them they’ve missed the boat (trust me, they already know that).  Just let them know that there is hope… there is a better way.  

 

Warm Up to Key Leaders

 

    In addition to like-minded families, you will have to find key leaders who see the problem.  Talk to the pastor about what has been happening over the past few decades in Youth Ministry.  Talk with the minister of education about your personal journey toward family integrated philosophy.  Talk to your Sunday School teachers about the difference between young people who are obviously discipled at home and those who obviously are not.  Don’t put on the full court press… just talk.  Remember, if this is a movement, God is already at work, you just need to nudge people in the direction they are already leaning whether they know it or not.  

 

Find and Spread the Good News

 

If you look hard enough, you will find families who not only get it, they model it.  There is probably a family in your church that has lived this philosophy for years.  They may even be an older couple with grown children who have borne much fruit.  Perhaps they are a family with teen children who don’t fit very well in the YM crowd, but they are the kind of kids other parents would kill to produce.  Whatever the case, find families who get it and highlight them.  This may also mean pointing to families outside of your church.  Whatever it takes.

 

The goal here is to demonstrate the advantages of biblical discipleship in the home.  People need to see what you’re talking about.  Remember, this is a movement.  I assure you there are families around you who get this.  Search until you find them and allow them to help you point the way.

 

Stay Out in the Open

 

It is important to avoid even the appearance of divisiveness.  The goal is not to divide the church, but to ignite it.  It is true that many men who have tried to move their church in this direction have lost their jobs.  Moreover, it is possible that the same will happen with you.  However, it is better to suffer for doing what is good (1 Peter 3), not for sewing discord.  There is nothing to be ashamed of.  This is a biblical model.  There is no reason to hide when we are seeking to guide the church toward biblical truth.